How Could it Ever Be?
by Eternal Soldier
Summary: Morgan and Prentiss are teasing Reid as usual about not being able to get a girl, but is there another reason behind his pain when they go too far? Morgan/Reid SLASH, don't like, don't read! First in my series about Reid/Morgan!


**A/N: Wow, my first Reid/Morgan fic. This is SLASH guys, so if you don't like, don't read! This is going to be the first in a series about Reid/Morgan, I will try and start the next one as soon as possible. I'm not sure how long that will take though, because my last year of high school starts tomorrow! Eeep! Anyway, time to start reading!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds.**

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_My theory is that the hardest work anyone does in life is to appear normal. ~From the movie Ed TV_

Spencer Reid would never admit it to them, but he hated the way the other members of the BAU teased him about never getting a girl. It had started up again that morning. Admittedly, they were all bored- there were no cases that required the team's immediate attention, no cases that required them to travel, so they were stuck in the office doing paperwork. Reid had been flying through his folders at a record pace- for anyone other than him- and had done almost half his stack before Prentiss and Morgan had even finished their third. Hotch, Rossi, JJ and Garcia were all holed up in their respective offices, which left the three agents by themselves. Reid had almost finished all of his files before the teasing began.

"Why you working so fast, pretty boy?" said Morgan. "You got a date tonight?"

"You know I don't have a date, Morgan," Reid replied without looking up from his work.

Morgan laughed and put down his pen, leading on the plastic wall between his desk and Reid's. "And why would that be?" Morgan asked.

"Because he's married to his job," Prentiss injected, giving up on her work and putting her pen down too.

Reid, however, continued to work. He almost wished he hadn't been working as fast, so he would have more to do to distract himself from Prentiss and Morgan. He had half a mind to go to Hotch's office and ask him for _more_ paperwork.

"I think you're right, Prentiss," said Morgan. "He didn't even reply that time. Too busy with the paperwork to talk to us."

"_You_ should be busy with paperwork if you want to go home tonight," said Reid, flipping a page.

"Yeah, because unlike you I can actually get a girl, pretty boy," Morgan quipped.

Reid scowled and almost retaliated that time. Yeah, he knew Morgan could get girls. Any girl he wanted. That was part of what angered Reid so much.

"I think Reid could be right this time, Morgan," said Prentiss, but she had laughter in her voice. "I bet that black-haired girl I saw you with the other day would be happy to hear from you again."

Morgan chucked. "Nah, Prentiss. She's not my type."

"I thought everyone was your type," Prentiss joked.

_Not everyone_, Reid thought to himself sadly. _If only that were true._ Reid shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts from his head. No. He couldn't think that. It was stupid. And Reid was far from stupid.

"Something wrong, kid?" Morgan asked, but still with a glint in his eye.

"No," said Reid shortly as he reached for the last folder.

Morgan looked as if he'd been struck by a sudden blast of inspiration. "Hey, _you _can have the girl if you want. I'll give you her number." He winked.

"No thanks." Reid continued working, wishing for one of the very few times since he'd met the man that Morgan would just go away.

"C'mon, you'd like her," Morgan teased. "I'm sure she'd love to meet another FBI agent…"

Reid slammed his last file shut. "I said I'm not interested, okay Morgan?" he snapped, before picking up his coffee cup and heading towards the brake room.

Prentiss and Morgan stared after him, feeling guilty. "I think we went too far this time," Prentiss finally admitted.

Morgan stared at the closed door to the break room. Reid never closed the door when he went to get coffee. _Never_. "I think you're right," Morgan replied.

When Reid had finally finished pouring copious amounts of sugar into his coffee, he leaned against the counter and closed his eyes. Why did Morgan have to make things so difficult for him? Granted, Morgan didn't know the truth, about why didn't want to go on a date with one of Morgan's many exes. And after what had just happened, Reid didn't think he'd ever tell Morgan the truth.

He had been good at hiding it so far. Excellent, even. There had been times when he'd almost fooled even himself- with Lila Archer, and then with that bartender Austin. He'd thought he'd actually wanted them, thought that he wanted to feel their soft, feminine lips on his. He'd thought wrong. At one time, he'd even had a crush on JJ. Now, though, he didn't think that was even possible. Sure, he had had feelings for _people_. Including one person he should never, ever have feelings for.

There. He'd finally admitted it to himself. Reid had completely and utterly fallen in love, with somebody he couldn't have. The thought made his heart ache.

The door to the break room creaked upon. Reid whipped around, but it was only JJ who stood there with a look of concern on her face.

"Spence? You okay?" JJ asked, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her.

"I'm fine, JJ," Reid replied automatically, turning back around and taking a sip of his coffee.

"I know you're not, Spence," said JJ, now standing behind Reid. "I heard Prentiss and Morgan talking."

"Then you'd know that I don't want to talk about it, JJ," Reid said, looking at JJ again.

"How long have you known, Spencer?" JJ asked suddenly.

Reid was shocked. "What? What are you talking about?"

JJ reached out and took his hand in hers. "You know exactly what I mean, Spence," she said gently. Reid looked into JJ's blue eyes, and realised that she did understand him like no one else on the team did. She knew the truth.

"Yes," Reid sighed. "I know."

"How long?" JJ asked again.

Reid shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "I think it's been coming on for a while, I just never really realised it. I may be a genius, but I know nothing about this."

"I don't think you can be expected to, Spence," said JJ. "Love isn't something that anyone can understand."

"But I'm supposed to know everything, JJ!" Spencer exclaimed. "Facts and knowledge are all I have!"

"No they aren't, Spencer," JJ whispered. "You're incredibly sweet, and funny, and brave, and one of the kindest guys I ever met. And yes, you are extremely, _extremely_ smart. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

Reid sighed. "Then why don't I feel that way?"

"Because sometimes love doesn't make sense, Spencer," JJ replied. "In fact, it rarely ever does."

"And this, the way I feel… it makes no sense at all," said Reid.

"Yes it does," said JJ. "You're best friends, you mean everything to each other. It makes perfect sense that you'd feel this way."

"No it doesn't," Reid argued. "Not when it's one-sided. I shouldn't feel this way. Never."

"Have you tried talking about it?" JJ asked.

"No," said Reid instantly. "How could we talk about it? It would make everything so difficult."

"You have to say something, Spencer," JJ said. "You can't keep this bottled up inside you. Keeping this secret will ruin everything much more than telling the truth will."

"It's one-sided, JJ," Reid repeated.

"You don't know for sure, Spence," JJ said. "You can never know for sure until you tell them."

"We work together, JJ," Reid said. "We're both in the FBI."

"So? So are Garcia and Kevin, and they're dating," JJ pointed out.

"Yes, but they're different," said Reid. "They're in a regular relationship. And they don't work on the same team. And besides, you know I'm no good at keeping secrets JJ."

"You've kept this one," said JJ. "Nobody else knows but me." When Reid didn't reply, JJ sighed and began walking towards the door. "I'm going to get him," she announced.

"JJ- wait, please-" Reid began, but JJ had already left the room and shut the door behind her.

Reid began to panic. JJ was going to go and get him, tell him that Reid wanted to talk. He was going to come in here and ask Reid what was wrong, and Reid would have no choice but to tell him. And then everything would be ruined. He'd have to leave the team, never talk to any of them again. Maybe he'd even have to leave the FBI.

"Hey, kid," said a voice, and Reid turned around. Sure enough, Morgan had now come into the room. Was he really going to have to do this?

"JJ said you had something you needed to talk to me about," Morgan continued. Reid nodded but didn't speak. "Reid? Is everything okay?"

"Not really, Morgan." Reid turned around, allowing Morgan to see the anguish on his face.

"Oh, Reid…" Morgan stepped closer to him. "We did go too far…" Reid couldn't do anything but nod. "Kid, I am so, so sorry."

"It's okay, Morgan," Reid managed to get out. "It's not your fault I didn't want to go out with that woman. Well it kind of is, but not really." There, his first slip-up. He'd have to tell Morgan now.

"Reid, what are you talking about?" Morgan asked.

"I guess the reason I didn't want that woman's phone number is because I'm not really… interested… in women," Reid said.

Shock and understanding spread across Morgan's face. "You're gay?"

Reid nodded. "I guess I am." He'd never felt this nervous, this scared, this unsure of what to do. Morgan could see it on his face.

"Does anyone else know?" Morgan asked.

"JJ," Reid replied. "I didn't tell her, she just knew. She knew before I even knew myself."

"That's JJ for you," said Morgan. "She's your best friend. She knows you better than any of the rest of us."

"She also figured out something else about me," Reid said, and then he hesitated. He didn't know if he could say any more.

"Kid, what are you talking about?" Morgan asked. Reid just looked at him, looked right into his eyes. And Morgan understood. "Reid…"

"It's okay, Morgan, I understand. I understand if you don't want to talk to me again. I even understand if you want me to quit, I'll go talk to Hotch right now and-"

"Reid, you're rambling again," said Morgan, and Reid stopped talking. "You know for a genius, you can be surprisingly dumb sometimes, kid."

Now Reid just looked confused. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Just because you're gay, and you have… feelings for me, doesn't mean I hate you, kid," Morgan said. "You had a crush on JJ, and she didn't hate you."

"This is different, Morgan!" Reid yelled. "I wasn't in love with her!"

Morgan was stunned. This, like nothing else, completely threw him. "You _love_ me?" he gasped.

Reid couldn't believe he'd slipped up like that. "I, Morgan, I-" he stammered, but he couldn't deny what he had just said. "I understand if you want to leave now." Reid turned back around and tried hard not to cry. Morgan's face had said it all.

"Spencer." Reid just froze. Not only had Morgan used his first name, but he was standing right behind him. Reid was too scared to turn around.

Morgan didn't care about that, however. He put his hands on Reid's shoulders and forcibly turned him around. All Reid could think about now was the fact that Morgan's face was only inches from his. "Kid. Spencer," Morgan said. "Why would I ever want to leave you?" Before Reid knew what was happening, Morgan's lips were on his.

Reid was in too much shock to respond straight away. Despite his genius mind, he was finding it hard to process this. Morgan, _Derek Morgan_, was kissing _him_. How was this possible?

Reid broke the kiss, but he didn't step away from Morgan. "How?" was all he could manage to say.

"I don't know," said Morgan honestly. "I really don't know."

"But, you know, I thought you were, well…" Reid just couldn't get the words out. He'd never been able to talk about his feelings very well.

"So did I," said Morgan. "But when you walked away from Prentiss and me, and we realised that we'd hurt you, it just… it felt different. That was when I knew."

"Knew what?"

Morgan took a deep breath. "That I love you too," he said.

That, more than anything else that had happened that day, even more than the kiss, stunned Reid. Had those words really just come from Derek Morgan's mouth? "You… you what?"

"I. Love. You," Morgan repeated, pausing in between each word so Reid could take them in.

"So what are we going to do?" Reid asked, still unwilling to step away from Morgan.

"What do you mean, what are we going to do?"

"Well, we can't exactly tell everyone, can we?" Reid pointed out.

"And why would that be?" said Morgan.

"Well first of all, it's you and me and we'd never hear the end of it, and second we work together, it's kind of against the rules."

"Good point," said Morgan. "Although Garcia would kill us if she found out we were hiding this from her."

"I guess we will have to keep it a secret then, won't we?" Reid smiled. Morgan had never seen him this happy, like a giant weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Come to think of it, it kind of had. Morgan could feel the same freedom in himself, even though he hadn't known he was trapped.

"There is one person we'll have to tell though," said Reid, pulling Morgan out of his thoughts. Morgan was confused. "JJ," Reid explained. "She knew this about me when I didn't even know myself. She'd see it anyway."

Morgan nodded. "True," he said, but he made no move to leave the room. He never wanted to leave this spot, never wanted to let go of the skinny genius he loved.

As if on cue, though, Reid's phone began to ring. He looked at the caller ID and sighed. "We're in the break room, JJ," he said without any other greeting. He hung up and turned to Morgan. "She's coming." He walked away from Morgan and sat down at the table, one hand resting on top of it. "We don't want it to be obvious to her when she walks in," he explained. "Just in case." Morgan nodded and joined Reid at the table.

JJ entered the room a few minutes later. Morgan's expression gave nothing away, so she turned to look at Reid. "Well?"

"I told him," Reid said, managing to keep all feeling out of his voice.

"And?" said JJ. Morgan caught Reid's eye, and the young genius gave the tiniest of nods. Morgan reached across the table and took Reid's hand, lacing their fingers together.

A huge smile stretched across JJ's face. "Are you serious?" she asked. Both Reid and Morgan nodded, their faces identical expressions of joy and freedom. "See, Spence? I told you it would work."

Reid nodded, still smiling. "You did," he replied. "But you can't tell anyone, JJ. We could lose our jobs."

"Not even the team?" she said. Both men shook their heads. "You know they're going to find out eventually. This won't be easy."

"I know," said Reid. "But we'll cross those bridges when we come to them. Like somebody very wise once told me, you never know until you try." And to JJ's utter delight, Reid leaned forward and kissed Morgan again.

_You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry. ~Author Unknown_

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_**A/N: Aw, aren't they so cute? The next story will most likely be about Reid and Morgan's struggles to hide their relationship from the others, and go through their jobs trying to hide this big secret. Please, please, please review guys, I need to know if I did a good job!**


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